It feels like it was literally yesterday that I wrote down the last blog of 2021 and posted.
It's almost like you want to write it all down and with every word, with every statement but as soon as you try to do it, everything starts falling apart, and it does not mean the same thing that was inside your head! There is so much that one must do, so many things that must be done, not even 0.1% of that has been achieved till now. Life seems to be a misery until and unless all that has been imagined does not come true, or at least really close to that. Steve once said, the dots will come together in the end, and I know why did he say it, because in the start it seems impossible if you lack the persistence and if you are struggling.
And in all that, your personal relations feel like a prison, or like something that burdens you from inside and you want the opposite of that feeling, you want freedom, you want motivation and inspiration! All those who achieved great things sacrificed greatly, well not necessarily all, but it is better that we do not count those.
This all seems so hard, so many problems, one after the other, doesn't matter if it is inside our heads or not, but it certainly is chaos! It feels like how am I ever going to make it, how am I ever going to achieve that which I have been striving for? Sometimes it feels like, there is this need of a mentor, of someone who can be with you in the journey and who can literally, affectionately ask you whether it is all okay, or are things making sense? Is there something that is going out of control? I would have literally yelled yes!
In all this if there is something that just pushes you, is the hope that everything will fall in line, everything will soon start making sense, everything will be alright! I hear a voice saying just keep going, no matter how hard it all feels! And yes, the struggle is on, the other voices upset you down! But in the end all you get is tiredness.
They say do not think about how far one needs to go, do not think, how far is the journey remaining, just enjoy the process while you have the chance! I do not know if I have the chance ever truly! It is already this hard and I am making life hard for my family and for me as well. All I know is that I can do it, there is that whispering voice fighting back not ready to give up, behaving childish, standing back again and again!
You seek a companion often to just get some rest, to have a shoulder not to cry but to share and laugh together, because that is where you get your mental energy back. Oh, but driven people should not care about these things, is it? Who cares what you bloody think! All you gotta care about is whether you are making any progress or not! Whether you have grown from your yesterday or not!
Vision, is what should drive you. Changing things should be your inspiration and along with your character.
Make a rule, to make a rule and then follow it like a perfectionist, knowing and waiting for that right, perfect moment to break it! To make it valuable! Then you can go back on the track of being the perfectionist! Cos, you broke it like a perfectionist!
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